


when the cat's away

by Devarsi



Category: Baccano!
Genre: Cats
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-05
Updated: 2020-11-05
Packaged: 2021-03-08 23:00:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 606
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27394633
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Devarsi/pseuds/Devarsi
Summary: ricardo leaves christopher behind at the genoard manor while he goes on business. this might not be as good an idea as it seems.
Comments: 1
Kudos: 2





	when the cat's away

Arguably, the two-dozen delinquents living on Millionaire Row were supposed to be helping with the housekeeping, and indeed the worst of the rowdiness was kept outside of the manor - though likely more out of consideration for Jacuzzi than for the actual owner - but the effect of the gang's presence still showed. It had taken Jacuzzi months to be comfortable enough to walk around the villa without shying away from every object he deemed breakable, or to sit on the actual couch instead of on the floor. Even now he was still prone to heart palpitations at even seeing someone other than Jon or Fang dust a vase, and while the bar was low, rest of the gang weren't much more helpful.

Despite that, it was kept in better shape than one might suspect from a residence with so many gangsters and an explosives enthusiast of Nice's track record. In fact, despite Jacuzzi's impressive capacity for over-worrying, it looked nice enough that Jacuzzi was usually too busy worrying about everything else to fret over how obvious and doubtless infuriating every little flaw would be when Miss Genoard finally returned to the mansion. 

So when he carefully stomped the snow off his shoes and entered the manor, Jacuzzi was stunned by the sight before him. 

For a moment he stood, uncomprehending, in the doorway, trying to wrestle the emotions of confusion, fear, and alarm flooding him. He opened his mouth as if to speak, then closed it. He leaned against the doorway, aghast as a cat that had approached sniffed at the hem of his pants.

The red-eyed bastard was sitting on top of the mahogany dining table, dangling what appeared to be a torn shred of his own ruffled shirt as two more cats batted at it, claws skidding against the grain.

As much as he would have liked to walk back to the doorway, leave, and go find Nice or Donny or literally anyone else who could deal with this for him - this was, unfortunately, technically, his responsibility as the gang's leader.

"What...what is this?!"

He'd meant to be at least somewhat more eloquent and indignant sounding, but it was decidedly more of a squeak. It was hard to be authoritative towards someone who'd caused a bloodbath and pointed a ridiculous gun-knife to your head.

Christopher, who evidently hadn't heard the heavy door closing from his spot in the dining hall, smiled unnervingly and waved, a motion which sent the cats leaping even more. 

"I saw a cat outside, huddled beneath an eave. Dogs and cats have been loyal companions to humanity for thousands of years, and humans build warm homes and fireplaces and leave them outside. It's important to respect nature, you know. Dogs and cats were vital for early civilization. You should thank them. Friends are important. In Wales there was a dog named Gelert -"

The man continued his rambling, either not noticing or not caring that Jacuzzi was clearly too busy hyperventilating to pay attention to his tangent. He needed to find where the hell Ricardo had gone, figure out a way to evict however many animals were now lounging about the manor, see what damage had been done - he rushed out of the room now, frantic as he looked to see how their new clothes had fared under the furry onslaught. Christopher watched him leave with some level of amusement, before turning back to one of the cats which had grown tired of playing and was perching on his lap despite having clawed his shirt so furiously before.

"You know, I think he would be a lot happier as a cat."

**Author's Note:**

> honestly just feel compelled to write some christopher stuff to offset the gross shit in his tag. gimme prompts for chris stuff idk what to write


End file.
